One's Purpose in Life

Purpose

PRINCETON
Purpose,
it's that little flame
that lights a fire
under your ass.
Purpose,
it keeps you going strong
like a car with a full
tank of gas.
Everyone else has
a purpose
so what's mine?

Oh look! Here's a penny!
It's from the year I was born!

It's a sign!
Ba-ba-ba-ba
Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
I don't know how I know,
but I'm gonna find
my purpose.
Gotta find out,
don't wanna wait!
Got to make sure that my
life will be great!
Gotta find my purpose
before it's too late.

I'm gonna find my purpose
could be far, could be near
could take a week,
a month, a year

At a job, or smoking grass
maybe at a pottery class!

Could it be?
Yes it could!
Something's coming,
something good!
I'm gonna find my purpose
I'm gonna find my purpose

I'm gonna find it!
What will it be? Where will it be?
My purpose in life is a mystery
Gotta find my purpose
Gotta find me.

I love this song. Such a simple song with a simple ditty and lyrics but it holds so much truth. It's from a musical called Avenue Q which tells the lives of a few close-knit inhabitants of a small neighbourhood called Avenue Q. The thing is, the musical is all about actors and actresses with a amazing voices controlling puppets, much like Sesame Street. But while Sesame Street taught educational values, this one teaches the facts of life in a revelatory manner in a way no one can imagine. The songs are superb and tickle the funny bone throughout. It's amazing what musicals can actually teach a person. Purpose is what drives a person to achieve his or her goals but what happens when one does not know what one wants? It's kinda sad. All my life, I've only strived for the best for myself. The best academic results, even when my parents never even pressurized me to do so. It was a kind of self-motivation. But now that I'm at the threshold of my academic life, I'm not sure what's next.

Yes. I have got NUS law. But what will drive me to do well this time? I seriously do not know what will be in store for me. I know for one thing though, that all my siblings will be in school, esp my youngest bro who will be in K1 next year and my sis who will be in poly this year, hopefully taking her hospitality management course at Temasek Poly. That's a lot of people for my family to support. Plus my university fees next year will totally sap all my family's finances to an even worse condition. That means I will have to work. Have had that in my mind for quite some time but never actually got around to getting a job before. I'm probably the only teen in Singapore who has never worked before. Thus, all these will be in my mind and schedule while I slog it out in uni. So many things happening. Sigh. For now I guess, the aim is just to complete the law course well, as well as my life would allow it to be and what my constantly shrinking brain can accept.

But one's purpose in life differs. "My purpose in life is a mystery" - That got me thinking a bit. I always loved the theatre. I wouldn't mind sacrificing everything I had for a chance at getting involved in theatre which is why I have been vying the double degree in Law and Arts/Theatre at Monash since last year. Broadway, West End. The lights. The attention. The ability to be someone you are not. Something about that attracts me. Scinitilates a small part of me to break out of my nerdy and self-conscious shell. Theatre allows one to do that. Be someone you are not. It is highly seductive. Let's see what the future holds. I'll definitely be joining the theatre club at NUS and maybe perhaps one day, you guys may see me on the stage one day at the Esplanade? Crossing my fingers. A dream. If my parents knew about this, they would positively kill me. (postively kill - lol). They would just think I'm mad.

Another Beginning

It's the end of my first year of NS. On this very same day last year, I was conscripted into the bloody army. And this is the beginning of my next year. Exactly 1 year and 4 months left till my NS ends and uni begins. Both difficult phases of life, the end of a difficult life under the supremely hierarchical NS and then the most difficult state of my educational life, NUS law. It will definitely be even harder than my A Levels which I had to fight hard and strong to even make it through with ok grades, though many would beg to differ.

Anyway, on the eve of the beginning of my 2nd year in NS, I have only one prayer. Whatever comes this year, I shall take it in my stride. I just pray that God will give me the strength to see me through this year, and that I will not be as depressed as I was when I began life at my new unit. That was probably the worst time of my life but I have learnt to adapt. Adaptation. That's what humans were created for, to adapt well to their environment. Reinventing one's self to suit wherever it is that one lives. I shall try. For now, it's cheerios from me.

A Quickie

Listening to: Blue - Curtains Fall, Blue - U Make Me Wanna

Hello again everyone. I'm back again with a renewed spirit. Still vengeful as ever towards NS but feeling somewhat ambivalent about life in NS. It's not so bad now since I have a constant pillar of support with my friends around me... Always willing to lend a helping hand, ear and even entertain me whenever I'm down. I'm ever grateful to all these people who have helped me tide over the worst of times.

Actually was looking forward to this weekend since some of the course guys were planning some outing to Orchard to buy some Chinese New Year clothes. I was planning to buy Jay Zhou and Kylie cds at HMV. It's been put on hold at the moment because of some other commitments the other guys have. It's totally ok with me. :) Maybe I'll go out with my sis to Jurong Point instead? Seriously need to return my library books. Think they're like 3 weeks overdue or something.

Anyway, I received an email from the Really Useful Group (Andrew Lloyd Webber's company) who's in charge of bringing his musicals to the whole world. In reply to my inquiry (or is it enquiry), they said...

Hi – thanks for your email. Yes both shows will be coming to Singapore. Bombay Dreams 2006/07 and Phantom 2007. No further details at the moment. Keep checking our website http://www.reallyuseful.com/ for news.

With best wishes.
Query Master

Hooray! Yeah! Fantastic! Superb! Cannot wait! Perfect timing... 2006 is when Uni starts and 2007 will be my 2nd year in NUS! Wow... Still reeling from the short burst of supreme happiness just now. :) <-- beaming smile